’Tis the season to be inundated with meaningful lists that arbitrarily come at year’s end (even though Austin’s Homecoming King Matthew McConaughey’s characters in True Detective and Interstellar would have you believe time is merely a trite construct, flat circle, black hole or something).

Instead of doing a drab and dull “Best Live Performance”(how can one plausibly get this one right?) or “Best New Artist” (trite and almost insulting to the artist named, which discounts their years of toil to find their voice), let’s have fun with this.” To read more, click this Tour Worthy hyperlink.


Nashville’s Nashies’ Wish List For Season 3


I grew up in Chicago’s West Rogers Park neighborhood, which is predominately an Assyrian, Indian, and Jewish hood, so I didn’t grow up hearing a lot of Waylon, Patsy, or Chris Gains’ alter-ego–Garth Brooks.  Thanks to Hulu and a realization that I need to stop re-watching The Wire, I fell in love with ABC’s Nashville. Just like The Wire, the Nashville music scene is a cut-throat milieu where one minute you’re on top of the game and the next minute you’re gun down (well not really, except for that inexplicable time the first lady of Nashville was shot–RIP Peggy Kenter.)  Oh and Hamsterdam architect Major Bunny Colvin has been on it too, soooo there, I take it back, the analogy still works!

After one episode of the melodramatic Nashville and you realize it’s ridiculously ridiculous and #SorryNotSorry but I love it.  And even if you can’t stand the occasionally cringeworthy dialogue there’s some legit musical performances every episode.Continue reading “Nashville’s Nashies’ Wish List For Season 3”

VH1’s LeAnn Rimes Cibrian Clickbait, only on!

LeAnn Rimes © Manuel Nauta

I remember being 13 years old and completely in love with this “How Do I Live?” Southern Belle.  For some reason the song played on my favorite hip-hop party radio station B96. Weird. I rekindled my affinity for the effervescent octave-slayer a few months back when I covered her for Texas Rock Report.  After the piece went live, I received dozens of tweets using my words of low attendance against her. The internets don’t take kindly to romantic grey areas I reckon, read more here..  

2014 NBA Draft Live Tweeting Tweets Un-Tweeted Blog Post!!!


This running NBA Draft diary should have ultimately been just live-tweets I tweeted, but I watched the draft on a delay because my cable provider can’t stream my Apple TV at a faster speed than AOL-’96-As-F**k.  I stayed twitter dark as to not spoil the lack of drama I wanted to witness for myself.

I used to cover the WNBA’s the Chicago Sky, and the Chicago dudes squad a few years ago, so I am in no way qualified to talk about sports, but that never stopped the internet, so here’s NBA 2014 Draft Diary/Tweet quips I should have made!

1. Cleveland Cavs–they took extra time, to make sure Andrew Wiggins had a work visa, and didn’t have that pesky Canadian sleep-conditions/a case of the chubbies, like last years number one pick Anthony Bennett.

2014-15 Season Expectations: Wiggins Will take his talents to South Beach seven years from now.

2. Milwaukee Bucks- the humble Jabari Parker, said “understatement” instead of “overstatement” when it came to his potential, making twitter overreact as it only knows how–I’d imagine, I didn’t go on twitter.  He also gave a shout out to the Great Lakes!

2014-15 Season Expectations: Parker will win Rookie of the Year, and do what most Milwaukee-ians do on their days off, take the train to Chicago and check out the Bubba Gump’s at the Navy Pier.Continue reading “2014 NBA Draft Live Tweeting Tweets Un-Tweeted Blog Post!!!”

Austin’s Buyers Club: A Fundraiser Featuring The McConaughey’s & Sheryl Crow


Next up for this near-flawless performer was the bluesy, Adult Top 40 hit “My Favorite Mistake”.  Accompanying Ms. Crow on part of her drummer’s drum kit, was the pocket-sized, aggressively adorable five-year old son of Camila Alves and Matthew McConaughey, Levi.  This kid had chops on the skins; he stayed in beat most of the time for the three songs he sat in on.  Levi’s proud parents danced and cheered him on from the front row and I could only help but wonder, “Is this real life?” Click Here To Read More….

It’s Okay To Give A Sh*t About Your Podcast/Web Series


Ahead of the release of my one-“man” podcast “Sweat All The Stuff” in May, I thought I’d #TBT with you an article I wrote for Comedy Of Chicago last year.  It’s a must read for anyone considering throwing their Steve-Martin-Fake-Arrow hat in the comedy podcasting/web series ring.  Click here to read more!

Should I Give F**ks If Someone Says “Zero F**ks Given”?


An edgy buzz phrase that all the kids (redditors) are saying on social media is “Zero Fucks Given“.  Other iterations of the phrase are: “Not a single fuck was given“, “I gave none of the fucks“, “Bullshit: 1 Fucks: 0“, “Exactly/percisely no fucks given“, and my own offering to the lexicon of internet speak”I would say fuck you but that would mean I had an iota of fucks to spare–which I don’t because keeping tracks of my fucks would imply that I give a fucks about shit and alas I don’t fucks with fucks-tracking.”

But what if you’re like me and don’t idle on apathy?  I sweat the small stuff, worry about nonsense, and overanalyze everything.  The concept of giving zero fucks is fucked up to me.  What if we all didn’t contribute our fair share of fucks?  It’d be a no fucks free for all!!

Let’s take a look at those who perpetually don’t award fucks to anything and ask yourself if you’d like to be in this bad company:

Lululemon, and Abercrombie when it comes to staying in business.  YouTube commentors.  Those kids on the bus with dat swag who might beat the shit out of you.Continue reading “Should I Give F**ks If Someone Says “Zero F**ks Given”?”

Veggie Burgers:Russian Roulette Where Every Chamber IS Loaded


Bing defines a veggie burger as a hamburger-style patty that contains no animal flesh. And that’s it. So if you want to make your own, one must only adhere to that rudimentry principal. Aside from that take all of the liberties and run fucking wild.  No one can call you on your shit.

Faux Burgers can range from too South American spicy to too Mediterranean bland.  There’s the pre-made frozen variety, complete with painted on grill marks.  Some sit-down joints will sling ice cream scooped, bonding agent-less, corn-heavy goop.Continue reading “Veggie Burgers:Russian Roulette Where Every Chamber IS Loaded”

My Red Carpet Date With Perez Hilton At SXSW


(Me and Perez, guess which one of us has a million dollars in their bank account but doesn’t buy shirts.)

“During all of SXSW, you couldn’t stumble downtown ten feet in any direction before hitting a venue that had swore their bar’s showcase featured the future of music and SXSW.  Perez Hilton assured me in a brief interview held on the red carpet that his show featured the “future of music”.  I have a hunch he might be telling the truth.”  Read my full article at the Texas Rock Report