If You Like It Then You Should Ignore The Ring On It: Obama/Beyonce & Other Adulterous Power Couples
Earlier this week it was “reported” by a French news outlet, that some rando paparazzo is claiming that President Barack Obama and R&B’s Beyonce were having an affair. In today journalist milieu, it’s a race to be the first to shoot the click bait links on your front page, and then ask questions later, if at all. So with that said, let’s run with this information before someone trips us with obstacles like the truth, or the discrediting of sources who’s gig is to exploit celebrities in compromising positions without context.
Can a high profile friends-with-bennies couple of this magnitude juggle their spotlighted lives and some causal hanky-panky–which could ultimately cause the free world as we know it to collapse in on itself? Is President Barack Obama ready for all that jelly that comes with extramarital flings? Will Beyonce be “Crazy In Love” with the idea of her name being made into tabloid headline puns like “Obama’s New Bey-ghazi”? Who cares, this doesn’t directly affect us, let’s have fun ranking the other potential celebrity power couples who I’d love to see commit adultery!
6.Lena Dunham and Blake Shelton– Why these two??? Well, none of us would even know Ms Dunham was cheating on fun. Guitarist Jack Antonoff, until we saw a storyline in Girls where the very quirky Hannah got her head stuck in a chair and word-vomited about infidelity. No one can confirm if the noted-philanderer Shelton still writes or plays music any more, so he can continue to host and judge other’s for a living while compartmentalizing an affair. If these two couldn’t make it as home wreckers, then which of us can?
BOUNUS CONSEQUENCE: If Shelton’s wife, Miranda Lambert, ever finds out, I smell a CMA Award!!
5.Neil Patrick Harris and Jim Parsons– I’m gay-ok with these two CBS stars going behind their partners back, Bazinga!
4.Sara Bareilles and John Mayer: Turnabout is fair random-ass-play. The brilliant Bareilles will make Katy Perry’s man “rrrrrrrrooooaaaaa-ohohoh-oooouuuoorr”, then break it off and go back to writing good songs–so Katy has some singles for her next album. Come on Sara, I wanna see you be “Brave”—and hook-up with that promiscuous floppy-haired man-child who’s body is a wasteland!
3.FLOTUS and Jay-Z– The best way to get HOVA someone is to get under someone named HOVA. The First Lady Michelle Obama and radio rapper Jay-Z’s better-half’s got them into this mess (but not really) and doing it on the DL with get them out of it. Every guy wants a First Lady on the streets and a freak in the bed! Wait, that was a Ludacris lyric huh? Man, I just didn’t want have to do the tired “These two got 99 problems but monogamy ain’t one” bit. Oh boy, it’s getting Hot In Herre, let’s move on.
2. Kerry Washington and Richard Sherman– Is there an actress better equipped of dealing with and spinning a cheating scandal than Scandal star Kerry Washington? Seattle Seahawks cornerback–and the guy your quasi-racist step-dad called “a thug”–Richard Sherman’s job is to defend. If you can deflect passes and you could easily cover your own untrue ass in the media.
1. Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston– Hollywood loves a good remake and comeback story…ok you know what, this is too soon, I’m still not over this one.
In no way do I condone cheating, it’s just much more fun to live vicariously through beautiful famous people two-timing than it is to actually get “done wrong” by our ex. Man, I used to get cheated on, on the reg. You trust a 19 year old girl with all your heart and soul.. And with a Myspace top 8 best friend of mine too? I guess, “what doesn’t kill us..”, you know? That’ll teach me to ever be vulnerable. Anywho, sound off on who you’d be totes down with seeing ruining their marriage!